Direct sales is not for the faint of heart. When you are in business for yourself and by yourself, you’ve got to rely on yourself to make things happen. And developing a positive mindset is crucial to your success. I know this, so I was completely flabbergasted when I realized my mindset was all wrong.
In October of 2008, at the peak of my day job success, something very bad happened to me. A Very Bad Thing. We don’t even talk about it around here, we refer to it as the October Thing. Seriously. And I wasn’t planning on going in depth about the October Thing, but then today, a Bad Thing happened to someone I think the world of, so I’ve decided to fully share my Very Bad Thing. (Because I’ve survived and I know she will too!)
*deep breath* So here goes.
I was a BIG personality in a small town. I was a female executive in a male-dominated profession, in a small town. So, as my position and responsibility grew, so did the rumors. I was a blissful newlywed and the rumors were ridiculous, so I ignored them. Completely. And thought they went away. Until the day I was escorted out of my office by two sheriff’s deputies after being informed I was on administrative leave until an investigation regarding my personal conduct concluded. The next morning, my picture was on the front page of the local newspaper (above the fold, hey, I’m famous) reporting that I, along with my boss were involved in an ethics investigation that did not include government funds. My male boss. The front page of the paper.
I had done nothing wrong. But it didn’t matter, the damage was done. And so I moved on.
Or so I thought.
When I joined my first direct sales company three years ago, I didn’t have a mentor. At all. And I was a lost puppy. I did everything wrong from day one. Failure after failure after failure. And I never once thought about quitting.
Then, 15 months into my journey, I found the mentor we all deserve, Brenda Ster and the Socialite Suite. And suddenly, I started learning the right way to do things and started having a little bit success. Baby steps, month after month. And then, overnight, I was a successful direct sales leader. Not just a seller, but a L-E-A-D-E-R. So, I did what anyone who has spent so much time being comfortable failing would do, I panicked.
I don’t deserve this.
I’m a fraud.
This success won’t last.
Eight years after my Very Bad Thing and I found myself struggling with a fear of success. Because, in my subconscious mind, success = attack. And I wasn’t willing to put myself in that position again.
It was a private message from the amazing Melissa from RoeTru that put me in perspective. “So you need to get out of your own way,” she said.
My mouth said “What, I’m not in my own way, whatever could you possibly mean?” Maybe with some saltier language. And my heart said “I’m a fraud. I don’t deserve this.”
Mindset is one of those vague words that gets thrown around A LOT in direct sales. Really, mindset is just your beliefs about yourself and your situation.
My mindset was all wrong. On the outside, I am the super positive, you can do it girl. And I believe that. I believe that YOU can do it. Me, that’s another story.
But once I saw my true mindset about myself, my abilities and my true desires, I was able to change the inner monologue.
Developing a Positive Mindset Tip #1: Stop playing the comparison game
If you take only one thing out of this entire day you’ve spent surfing the web, let it be this. Stop comparing yourself to others! All others, but especially people who seem to be more successful than you. Seem to be… This is an ugly truth about social media: you are only seeing someone’s highlight reel. You’re not seeing the whole story. You see one fragment of their day. No one is showcasing the nine people who rejected them.
True story: When a previous direct sales company announced the top incentive trip points earners, I knew one of the people listed. I couldn’t believe she had earned so many points in a three-month period. I imagined she had a huge team and a huge client base. You know what she told me? She bought a ton of inventory during the period when the company offered double points. Here I thought she has some secret weapon, nope, she bought her way onto the trip.
Don’t compare yourself to others. EVER!
Developing a Positive Mindset Tip #2: Visualization
Visualization allows your imagination to become the screenwriter for the movie of your life. Spend a little time imagining yourself being successful and see- yes, SEE, in your mind, what success looks like. Imagine you’ve already met your goal, what are you doing, how do you feel? Get that picture deep down in your soul and believe it is possible.
Every single morning, as I drive into work, I think about what my life looks like as I reach the next milestone in my direct sales career. I know exactly what my day looks like- what I’m wearing, what I’m doing, who I’m doing it with. I’ve visualized it! And when it happens in real life and not just in my mind, I will be ready.
Developing a Positive Mindset Tip #3: Affirmations
You are the EXPERT WITNESS TESTIMONY for your brain. What you tell it, it believes! And the more emotion tied to statement, the more valid your brain sees it. Positive emotion, negative emotion, your brain doesn’t care. It sees it as evidence that the statement is true.
Not only that, your brain is the google of your body. Google Kim Kardashian selfie one time and you will be looking at Kim Kardashian photos every single time you get online.
If you want to develop a positive mindset, you’ve got to take control of your brain. You can do that with the help of affirmations. Affirmations are positive, specific statements designed to overcome negative thoughts. They help you believe in and create the positive things you want to see in your life. In my struggle with success, this is my go-to affirmation:
I am worthy and deserving of success. I am humble and grateful to be a leader who serve others and nothing but good with come from it.
Developing a Positive Mindset Tip #4: Count It All Joy
There’s a reason they say hindsight is 20/20. When you look back, you have the benefit of time and a bigger picture view. The October Thing certainly didn’t feel like a good thing when it happened. Oh no, my friends, it was a Very Bad Thing. But, had that not happened, a whole list of other things would never have come to be. And those other things would not have led to where I am today. And I wouldn’t trade where I am today!
Bad things happen in life and you’ve got to choose to count it all joy. Choose to be joyful in the hard times, to believe that even when the bad things happen, it’s to push you forward and make you better.
Developing a Positive Mindset Tip #5: Choose abundance
Only, that’s not true.
Do we only have one option when we buy a car? Nope! What about where to eat, what clothing brand to wear, hell, what cereal to have? We have options. And you want to know why… because there is more than enough success for everyone.
You don’t see General Mills closing the doors and going home because Kellogg’s is killing it. Nope. Because they know there is more than enough success for everyone.
Choose an abundance mindset. There is more than enough for everyone. You, me, all of us. We can all be successful, regardless of the success of those around us. You crushing it does not take away from me crushing it. So, let’s go crush it!
Developing a Positive Mindset Bonus Tip: Find Your Tribe
Surrounding yourself with people who are in the same mindset as you makes the journey infinitely easier. It was a simple message from my friend Melissa that caused me to really look deep in my soul and see why I was in my own way. Why I was feeling like a fraud, even though I’ve never been fraudulent in my life. Life is hard and the direct sales life is really hard, don’t go it alone.
I cannot recommend Brenda Ster’s Socialite Suite enough, it’s truly changed my life. If you want to connect with other people going through the same struggles, join the group, make some friends and pick up some awesome direct sales tips along the way.
Not a direct seller or already in the Suite? I also have a little group on Facebook, P.S. You’re Awesome, where I post daily motivational tips. And the girls in that group are some of the best friends you could ever hope for.
I hope these tips for developing a positive mindset have helped you overcome your own blocks. Want to talk about it? Connect with me on Facebook or contact me. Are you ready to become a direct sales leader? Consider joining my Willing Beauty team!